And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
