I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
