I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm always down for nudity.
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