Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize