do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
