It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
