you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
