Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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