their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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