Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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