How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
