She announced her abortion via fbk
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
