We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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