your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
