I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
