I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she looked like the before picture.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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