plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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