Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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