I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
