I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
