things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
