you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
