So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
