Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
