Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
