just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
