loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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