I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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