OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
