everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
