Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
