Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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