do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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