he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
