you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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