they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
