Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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