so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
