since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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