I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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