I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
