Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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