do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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