trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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