do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
