its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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