She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
