dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
