Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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