You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
