This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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